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December 21st has snuck up on me once again and today I am turning 29 years old! I woke up feeling nostalgic and reflective, so I thought I’d share some lessons I have learned over the years that have helped me find myself and have brought me inner-happiness!

29 Lessons on my 29th Birthday

1.) You do not need to have it all figured out by an arbitrary age.

2.) Comparison is the thief of joy.

3.) It is totally OK if you haven’t hit those “milestones” that the media has tried to tell you “should have hit by now.”

4.) Don’t get frustrated if people don’t agree with what you do for a living. Remember you are the one working the job and paying your bills! It’s your career to map out, no one else’s.

5.) You are allowed to say “no” when you need to, and not feel like a bad person for it.

6.) It is OK to change your mind. (After all, change is good!)

7.) Try to put your needs first (especially in your 20s.) There will be many years ahead that you may not be able to do that.

8.) Good mental health starts with good sleep. Get enough, and try your best to make it a priority. I know it’s hard but it really is so important!

9.) Only follow those who make you feel your very best and want the very best for you!

10.) Always remember that life is SHORT! Practice gratitude every day.

11.) Life is a journey, not a destination.

12.) Try not to get hung up on regrets, after all, your past mistakes will make you the person you are today.

13.) Never let a relationship change you for the worse, stay true to yourself.

14.) Create goals, big or small. They help you stay on track.

15.) Only use social media if it truly inspires and educates you.

16.) You can never spend enough time with your parents and grandparents.

17.) Laughing is the best medicine.

18.) Go out and buy that dog you’ve been wanting. After all dogs are the best therapy.

19.) Practice your self-love mantra. Mine: “I am silly, sensitive and quirky but those who matter will love and accept me anyway.”

20.) It is OK if your home gets messy.

21.) Make traveling a priority.

22.) If you need help with direction in life, start with finding those who inspire you most and write down what it is that inspires you to help guide you.

23.) It is OK to live out of your comfort zone — that’s where growth happens!

24.) Find someone you deeply trust (for me, it’s my sister) and talk through your emotions and concerns with them. It is so nice to hear yourself say them out loud and to get them off your chest.

25.) Find time in the day to put your phone down for an hour or two. My husband and I do this every night during dinner time!

26.) If you have found your soulmate, love the {heck} out of them!

27.) Always tell those you love most how much you love them. Even if they are your family, don’t underestimate how nice it can be for someone to hear and feel it!

28.) The key to happiness is always being grateful. Focus on what you do have and not what you don’t have!

29.) Live your life for YOU!

Finally, when you start feeling anxious, stressed or lost, a good way to help soothe yourself is to drink a nice glass of wine, put on your cozy robe and your favorite chick flick.

Just writing these down has made me a little emotional. I wish I really listened/carried out these in my early 20s. I spent so much of my energy and time worrying about what people thought and trying to change myself to be liked by everyone. Reality is you will not be for everyone. Just remember you can’t change people. You are allowed to spend time discovering yourself and becoming who you were meant to be all along!

I hope everyone enjoys the Holidays and more importantly stays safe!

Xx Jaclyn

As I psych myself up to write this, I start thinking about all the things I have to psych myself up for in my life. I have always been an anxious person but recently, it has developed into a deeper level. On February seventeenth I was admitted into the Emergency room because I had a resting heart rate of 210 bpm. (For reference, your resting heart rate should never exceed more than 100 bpm). While it could’ve been caused by a million and one things, doctors believed due to my age and overall healthy lifestyle, that it was most likely caused by a blood clot to my heart. After spending almost five hours in the ER, my blood tests, EKG and CT scan showed no abnormalities and everything appeared to be great (besides my elevated heart rate and blood pressure). I left the hospital with the doctors believing it was anxiety related. When leaving the hospital, I realized that my anxiety was what put me in the hospital, I now understood what my anxiety was doing to my body and I knew I had to make a change for my overall well being and mental health.

For me, my general anxiety developed in my later teens, but it didn’t interfere too much with my life. But, the older I got, the more of an issue it became. There were things I would become more anxious about than I would normally be in the past. Things like: flying, having multiple events to attend in one weekend (although I am so grateful for the life I live, it can become overwhelming), meeting deadlines, and managing household chores, became more of a struggle. On top of that, it wasn’t always easy to talk about it. I remember being a teenager and opening up about it to people and all I would hear in response was that I was “being dramatic” or that “anxiety isn’t a real thing” or “what is so wrong in your life, you shouldn’t feel this way.” These were the types of things I would have to hear when confiding in someone, and it made me feel as if I was imagining the problem — I didn’t feel that my struggles or the feelings I was experiencing were valid. Although I am extremely close to my family, I didn’t even confide in them because I didn’t want to add extra stress to their lives. As a teenager I thought I was alone with my anxiety because no one could relate to me, so I kept it bottled up.

To me, one of the most comforting feelings in my life has been realizing that I’m not alone when going through something difficult. Many people suffer with anxiety because it’s not an uncommon problem. I’ve found ways to deal with mine better. I don’t necessarily need someone to relate to me and go through exactly what I am to make me feel better, I just need people to listen to me, to check in, and most importantly accept this as part of who I am. Through this experience I’ve learned that anxiety isn’t something that you “outgrow” or a “phase” you go through — for me, my anxiety is part of me and something I need to learn how to cope and live with.

It’s been a week since my trip to the Emergency room and I have found natural ways to help cope with my general anxiety. During the workweek, I decided to set my alarm for work about fifteen minutes earlier than usual. This allowed me to wake up peacefully, without starting my mornings rushing around to get ready. (I am a preschool teacher, so you can imagine some of the loud craziness I go through in a single day, so keeping my mornings quiet and smooth is a must). While my job is my absolute passion, each day I benefit from taking a quick five to ten minute break where I have time to myself to take a few extra breaths and relax. So that’s exactly what I did. Each day I would escape the craziness of my room for about ten minutes, splash water on my face, drink some water and take deep breaths. Those little things seriously changed the whole dynamic of my day. Then, when getting in my car to drive home, I didn’t drive home in a rush like I normally do. Instead, I decided to take my time driving and focused on my surroundings, taking in how beautiful nature is and a few extra breaths of fresh air. I know this might seem corny, but I really enjoy my commute home when I approach them this way.

When I got home, I made sure not to cram in every task and chore I had to get done before I went to bed. I decided to put off any laundry or chores until the weekend, where I’d spend that time taking care of all that. Instead, I put on a face mask and watched some of my favorite shows. Then, when my husband came home we cooked dinner together and just relaxed. Sometimes that’s all your body needs — a little relaxation! Finally, I would take a nice long and hot shower and head to bed early, around 10pm. I kept that routine up for the entire week, and it really made a difference. Now I know that obviously not everyone’s schedule can look like this, and having children or a job with very long hours makes taking true, unadulterated time for yourself much more difficult. But I do believe that we all need to take some time for ourselves each day for a healthy and sustainable peace of mind. Whatever that may be for you, you should do it. Whether it’s yoga, a walk outside, unwinding with a book, or catching up with friends. Personally, during this time I said “no” to all plans this weekend, which is very hard for my husband and I to do because we absolutely love being with our family and friends. But, it was a very much needed, stress free, and relaxing weekend that we got to just enjoy each other’s company.

I minimized my anxiety in the past subconsciously because I didn’t think it was that bad, but I am committed to making the levels of anxiety I do have more manageable. Anyway, it’s only been a week but I haven’t felt this rejuvenated in awhile. I know not every week/weekend will look exactly like this, but I do know that some of the techniques I’ve practiced this week I can keep doing, and that will help me through this particularly rough period of anxiety I’m experiencing. Even if you aren’t dealing with anxiety, we all have stressful times in our life so finding what works for you to reclaim some of your mental wellness — it can be life changing. Always remember that no one is ever alone in his or her struggles.

I would love to hear of other techniques that have helped, so comment below if you have any advice!

As always, thanks for stopping by!